Last weekend, in a rare moment of maturity, I let pass a perfect opportunity for a practical joke. You see, a good friend and his wife were having a dinner party at their house. He's a professor, and he was hosting the University provost plus their clergy member and some other important people in their lives.
They also did not turn off the answering machine, which is located in the kitchen, right next to the dining room. That means that any message I left during the party would be heard by all the members of the party. Wow, what an opportunity.
Here were some of the messages I could have left. "Hey Fred...
* I spoke with an attorney friend, and he said that as long as no one finds the evidence, you should be okay. If you get caught, though, your doing some time."
* I did some research on the web, and having it hurt when you pee can be a really bad thing. You need to see a doctor, dude."
* How was your dinner party last night? Is your provost really as incompetent as you say? Hard to believe."
or I could play nice
* Hey Fred, does your department/school know that the top Ivy League Universities are recruiting you? Bet it will take a lot of money to keep you there."
Well, you get the drift. There was a time when I would have jumped at this chance; I think that I'm getting old.
They also did not turn off the answering machine, which is located in the kitchen, right next to the dining room. That means that any message I left during the party would be heard by all the members of the party. Wow, what an opportunity.
Here were some of the messages I could have left. "Hey Fred...
* I spoke with an attorney friend, and he said that as long as no one finds the evidence, you should be okay. If you get caught, though, your doing some time."
* I did some research on the web, and having it hurt when you pee can be a really bad thing. You need to see a doctor, dude."
* How was your dinner party last night? Is your provost really as incompetent as you say? Hard to believe."
or I could play nice
* Hey Fred, does your department/school know that the top Ivy League Universities are recruiting you? Bet it will take a lot of money to keep you there."
Well, you get the drift. There was a time when I would have jumped at this chance; I think that I'm getting old.
4 comments:
glad to know you can still devise creative practical jokes. as i recall from grad school, however, you were always far too nice to execute the really wicked ones.
That's a kind attribution...
It is a good thing to control such a creative mind... keep having fun inside that head of yours.
Hey Fred... tonight at 1 again? You bring the strawberries this time.
Hello, you keep calling my number and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop. There is no Crystal here at 680-553-1717. Would you please stop calling and let me sleep through the night?
Hi Fred, got the answer to your questions:
Yes. no. no. Penicillin. Hope you make it in to work tomorrow.
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