Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Um, I think that you have something to tell me...

Under the heading of things that really, really scare me:

I was talking with a couple students at the end of the semester. They had stopped by my office to drop off their papers, and we ended up chatting for about an hour. (It made me realize how rarely I get to talk with students more than about the immediate concerns of the class). Not surprisingly, for college students, they started talking about romantic relationships.

One of the students told of this strategy that she uses in her relationships. Periodically, she will put on a disapproving face, be very serious, and tell the guy that they need to talk. She then says: "I think that you have something that you need to tell me."

The guy, being a guy, figures she knows everything, and he immediately starts confessing everything he's done wrong.

Here's my question: Is this legal? Aren't there rules about what can and can't be done in relationships? It's like the superpowers agree not to use poison gas in war because that's just going too far.

I am deeply thankful that 1) I've never encountered this strategy, and 2) my wife is busy at work this week, so she won't see this post.


Casey Ross said...

This is clearly immoral, illegal, and unethical. I have nothing to base that on, it just is. Could you please delete this post before word of this "strategy" spreads? This is dangerous stuff.

Fajita said...

Excellent example of power and gender.

One of the things that attracted me to my wife was her truth in advertising. Very early on, like after our first date, she told me that she did not play games and wasn't interested in a guy who plays games.

Over a decade later, she has proven over nd over again to be the real thing.

Thanks for this post. It reminds me how good I have it.

Knumb said...

I hate to say this, but I actually have mentally prepared for this scenario.

I still think I'd screw it up, but my current strategy involves confessing that I haven't updated Quicken in months.

Early in my marriage, I used my other pre-planned defense, what I call the big lie. Nancy is not jealous, almost to a fault, but I took it too far one day. We were walking down the beach and she pointed out an incredible stunner, a woman dressed, or undressed, to impress. I stared so intently that I knocked Nancy into the sand.

As I brushed her off, I had to use The Big Lie: "I'm sorry, honey, but from this angle, I'd swear that was a man."

For better or worse, it worked. I don't think I can use it again, though.

Churchill's biography said that he was a brilliant orator because he planned everything he ever said and even prepared for contingencies.

That approach is the only hope for those of us with short chromosomes.

J. R. Miller said...

I think that is hilarious!

That being said, I think she has some trust issues :-)

Brad Wright said...

Very funny reactions.

Yes, Casey, I wondered about the wisdom of posting this....

Fajita, my wife doesn't like playing games either, but, then again, she doesn't need to. She can find out pretty much whatever she wants from me pretty easily.

John, that's a hilarious story. I can't believe that she fell for it! (Unless the men in OC look different than I remember).

JR, there may way be trust issues, but I would imagine it's more being mischievous.

Fajita said...

I shared this with my wife and she didn't get it right away. YES! The fact that she doesn't understand someone who does this makes me so happy - and free to be honest. Yeah, I'm pretty much a window - easy to see through.