Sunday, December 09, 2007

Bah Humbug

I'm not a big fan of the Christmas season... okay, I flat out don't like it. The problem is that I have about a day-and-a-half worth of interest in it, but the darn thing goes on for a month and a half. There's no way that the "special" moments on Christmas morning justify the emotional and financial stress brought about by the season.

Furthermore, the days are getting shorter and shorter, which I find unnerving, and it's also Christmas time, so there is guilt by association.

So, here are some of the best things of a true bah humbug spirit:

Movie quotation
: "Christmas? Christmas means dinner, dinner means death! Death means carnage; Christmas means carnage!" Ferdinand the duck in Babe.

T-shirt slogan
: "What part of bah humbug don't you understand?"

: What did Jesus ever do for Santa Claus' birthday? (Steven Wright)

: Bad Mall Santas

Song: Christmas time by Larry Norman

Santa Claus is coming and the kids are getting greedy
They know what's in the stores ´cause they seen it on the TV
You go into the forest and you cut down all the trees
I know you got a power saw, but who plants the seeds
I gotta buy a present, can´t remember who it´s for
I´ll see you in a hour when I get back from the store
It used to be the birthday of The Man who saved our necks
Now it stands for Santa Claus, they spell it with an "X"!
It´s Christmas time...

Any additions to this list?


Ben said...

The social balance equation between you, me and Christmas is very, very balanced. I need the tune to Larry Norman's song.

I am so glad to be out of the US right now. The only sign of Christmas here is the nice lights at the major shopping center in the city, a few songs occasionally on the radio, and the tree at the back of our church with the names of kids from the nearby orphanage and their shoe sizes. People will celebrate on the day, but the major sign will be all the little girls in their brand new Christmas dresses (their one present for the year.)Still signs of commercialism are starting to creep in, where will I move then?

Corey said...

Mall Santa... my worst seasonal job ever!

- 18 years old
- Dark eyebrows and eyes
- About 100 lbs lighter than expected

Kids told me that I looked sick; I was wet on, vomited on, punched, etc.

The only upside was when a sorority from the local college came to get their photo with Santa.

Doing Better Than I Deserve said...

This is the best description of (how I feel about) Christmas that I have ever read.


Let's just celebrate Christ instead of Christmas.

Brad Wright said...

Very funny Ben! I feel much more balanced now...

Great story Corey... I've already told it to a couple of people.

Doing better... maybe we should start a support group?

Ray Fowler said...

Aww, come on, Brad, I love Christmas. And I also love Larry Norman's "Christmas Time." Larry rocks! (There's a balanced and an unbalanced "triangle" all in one comment!)

Brad Wright said...

Ray, I don't know what to do with your comment. You like Larry Norman (yeah)but you also like Christmas (what?!).

I've got to read more about balance theory to figure out how to handle this one!

Ray Fowler said...

Do a balanced triangle and an unbalanced triangle balance each other out? Or are they by definition unbalanced? Enquiring minds want to know!