Here's an interesting article by top-drawer sociologist Mark Regnerus on marrying young. He's identified a social trend in which getting married young is seen as a bad thing, and he makes the case that it's actually a good idea. I suppose this makes it a form of deviance...
An excerpt from the article:
"In my research on young adults' romantic relationships, many women report feeling peer pressure to avoid giving serious thought to marriage until they're at least in their late 20s. If you're seeking a mate in college, you're considered a pariah, someone after her "MRS degree." Actively considering marriage when you're 20 or 21 seems so sappy, so unsexy, so anachronistic. Those who do fear to admit it -- it's that scandalous."
An excerpt from the article:
"In my research on young adults' romantic relationships, many women report feeling peer pressure to avoid giving serious thought to marriage until they're at least in their late 20s. If you're seeking a mate in college, you're considered a pariah, someone after her "MRS degree." Actively considering marriage when you're 20 or 21 seems so sappy, so unsexy, so anachronistic. Those who do fear to admit it -- it's that scandalous."
2 comments:
The folks at scatterplot blogged about this a month or so ago.
Regnerus' argument seems solid to me. I'm not sure why there is so much hand waving in the scatterplot thread.
Getting married young leaves little room for yourself, establishing the things you like, dislike or think about.
It sometimes makes it easier financially, but when there are alot of improvements to be made to the individual before they invite another person into their lives.
There is also the fact that people don't give it time to get to know each other before taking those steps up and down the aisle. At 18, you'll just be finishing College, going onto University; three or four years, in and you'll have student debt, you need to look for a job, fend yourself and your family, before marriage. I think this is the right time to meet someone, date for a few years, then live together a few years more, then get married.
I want to make sure I can wake up every morning at 5am to go for a jog, make my mine and my husband's breakfast, packed lunches and prepare dinner at least three times a week, with him making dinner the other three days and taking a break on one day; set a timetable or a routine in our family. Do this happily, flawlessly and continuously for some years, then yes, I might consider saying yes to a proposal.
God works at the perfect speed, its humans that are too slow to realise they are moving too fast and getting nowhere.
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